Feeling lonely in a crowded room

You can feel lonely in a crowded room.
How do you fix it?

Dr Vivek Murthy, Surgeon General of the US wrote a book about this. “It’s not about the number of people in the room with you. It’s how you feel about the connections with those people.”

It is also hidden.
You may imagine loneliness as someone sitting by themselves in a playground but the truth is that it can be anyone, in any setting.

Why does Samaritans exist?
Or Befrienders, or AGE UK, or Silverline?

These exist to help create and maintain the social connections to those who are isolated who may not have friends or family around them.

This is how I deal with my fear:

1. Connections with others.
I create positive interactions with people around me.

I also believe in karma.
I believe that by giving freely to others and creating meaningful relationships, the Law of the Universe will do its magic.

2. Connection with myself.
I will never be lonely if I enjoy my own company. I think I am quite interesting and if I am ever cloned, I think we’d get along pretty well ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿค”

Try it.
Don’t wait till you’re lonely before you go looking for company.

Create meaningful #connections with others and with yourself.

Unless you like being a hermit.
If so, please ignore this post. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ


How do you sign-off?

Warmest wishes – Bob (He’s happy.)
Regards – Bob (Oh no – he sounds peeved!)

How do you sign off emails?
Do you try to detect emotions from how people sign off their emails to you?

This is a toughie, especially once I started working in the UK.

I wasn’t really a ‘cheers’ person, or a ‘kind regards’ or a ‘warm regards’ person. It took me awhile to find a sign-off that I was happy with.

However, I know that people sometimes try to read into the sender’s mood by the tone of the email how it’s signed off, and then fret about it. ๐Ÿ˜จ

If I get a feeling that the sender is upset from the overall tone of their message, I’ll pick up the phone and say, “Hey Bob – got your email thanks. I am getting the sense of frustration in your message though, can we talk?”

If the email sounds ok, but the sign-off is a bit… off, I don’t pay it much attention.
However, I do wonder sometimes when people sign off their emails as “KR” as a short form for Kind Regards. ๐Ÿ™„

Sooo… how do you sign off your emails?


Type A and Type B people

There are a lot more (A) people than there are (B).

(A) mindset can manifest itself in so many ways.

Because they don’t think they’re enough, people tend to make poor choices in
– health
– lifestyle
– relationships
– work

(B) people find a lot more happiness and contentment in life.

For most people though, the difficult part is moving from (A) to (B).

For me, it’s been a lifetime journey, to
– find confidence
– be happy in my skin
– know who I am
– know my place in the world

I found the answer in Gratitude and Perspective.

Joining Samaritans as a listening volunteer has accelerated my journey, as I came to understand the meaning of suffering and hardship in all its various forms.

It opened my eyes, and made me more empathetic to those who are struggling.

I became kinder to others, and to myself.

I found that the more I practiced gratitude, empathy and kindness, the more (B) I became.

It’s not easy, and definitely not an overnight process.
In fact, it’s the daily practice of being a better human today than I was yesterday.

Try it.
The future You will thank you for it.๐ŸŒน


Garbage In, Garbage Out.

GIGO = Garbage In, Garbage Out.

This is especially true when companies believe that all problems will disappear with new software such as a shiny new #CRM system.
Like #Salesforce.

In order to maximise the benefits from any change we want to make, we really should look at why things went wrong in the first place.

Things like toxic culture, poor management and weak leadership will never be fixed with software, so I’m not even going to go there.

However, people generally have an idea that getting a new CRM system will improve the way businesses and organisations work.
What they don’t realise is that they need to do some real work to start with.

– Dedupe, clean and enrich. Purge where necessary.

– Review, refine, simplify. Merge and purge where necessary.

These are low hanging fruits, and companies should look at making these internal improvements before shelling out shedloads of ยฃยฃ for a CRM system.

Because… GIGO.
You know what they say – you can polish a ๐Ÿ’ฉ, but it will still be a .๐Ÿ’ฉ

I talk about this in my Consulting Masterclasses starting next Tuesday 4 May. No-charge for #Salesforce peeps who are out-of-work. DM me.


This made me cry

Ah, this made me cry.

I offered this lovely lady a no-charge spot on my Consulting Masterclass next week as she is out of work, with the only provisio that she #PayItForward.

And she has.

I am so moved.

Do something kind today.
You do make a difference.

Even if it’s one starfish at a time.

And yes, we all need chocolate. โค๏ธ๐Ÿซ๐ŸŒน


PM’s job in 4 words

PM’s job in 4 words: Setting and managing expectations.

Any PM who isn’t able to do this, really should look at a different career.
There are so many things that can go wrong (and they do) and it’s our job to monitor how things are going and take corrective actions.

That’s why I say that unless project is set up to fail (miss-sold in the first instance), PM’s are fully responsible for the success or failure of the project.

Project kick-off is where we do the “The ‘sitting down’ and setting the expectations”…. and then we manage it throughout the life of the project.
This includes both the internal and external project kick-off.

Come listen to my podcast with Jasmine Ashley – dropping next Monday 3rd May.

I am also very pleased to be getting the hang of this video editing thing ๐Ÿ˜Ž


The Emotional Cycle of Change

No-Charge Consulting Masterclasses for out-of-work #Salesforce peeps starting next Tuesday 4 May running for 3 weeks.

One of the most interesting human concepts to understand is the ECOC – the Emotional Cycle of Change. Here are a few things to note:

– this can apply to so many things
– not everyone will go through each stage
– some people start at a different stage (e.g. VOT for any ‘unwelcome change’)
– at any point of a project, different peopple may be on a different stage, it is interesting to figure out where they are
– sometimes, if a project is handled badly, the line carries on going downwards after VOT (crash!) Not good. โ˜น

As a PM, I really enjoy the UO stage as it’s very exciting getting to know
– my team
– the client team we are working with
– the project and problem we are solving
– the technology

My job is to get us to FKTOW, with not too much of a peak and trough, my style is #NoDrama and #NoSurprises. Well, not the bad kind anyway.

DM me if you want to get on the Masterclass.
#SalesforcePartners wanting to level up your team into a Consulting powerhouse, connect with me.

I can help you get your clients to feel like FKTOW (successful go-live!) ๐Ÿ˜Š unless you miss-sell the project, but I can help your team avoid that too!



Total carcrash. #PodcastFail ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

I had been toying with the idea of starting a #podcast for awhile, and look what happens on my very first recording.

I have to say though – the grilling by Ms Figment was excruciating. ๐Ÿค•

Anyway – am hoping to publish my first podcast with the lovely Jasmine Ashley#Salesforce Solutions Engineer next Monday 3rd May.

We talk about culture clash, project delivery, troubleshooting and loads of fun stuff.

Stay tuned!

Don’t have an affair

“Don’t have an affair with Bob*. He’s too fast – I can’t catch him.
“Don’t have an affair with John*. He’s too big – I can’t fight him.
“Choose someone small and slow, like that little dude who lives round the corner.”

My Husband has a super power.
He is able to diffuse and de-escalate situations with well timed humour at the appropriate juncture, and he is so easy to get along with – at work, and at home.

I’ve learned so much from him in the years we’ve been together – humour, patience, grace.

After a fairly traumatic relationship that almost broke me physically and emotionally, he slowly and surely restored me to be whole again.
I am better person because of him.

I tell the kids that they need to choose their friends and partners wisely, because you want to be surrounded by people who lift you up and help you succeed.
You want to be around people who make you a better person for knowing them.

I totally lucked out in this department, and I am deeply deeply grateful that he is in my life.

Laughter, love and health.
I am richer than I ever dreamed I would be.

And that, my dear reader, is what I wish for you too. ๐ŸŒน

*Names changed just because.


How do you talk to yourself?

How do you talk to yourself?
What do you say?
How do you say it?
Whose voice do you hear?

Most of us grow up learning how to talk to ourselves from how people talk to us.

If we grow up being told that we have no value, that we are useless, that we are a mistake.. then these are the voices we will hear.

All of us have voices in our head.
They become particularly loud when we have made a mistake, or if we feel we have ‘failed’ in some way.

Most of the time, we treat ourselves much worse than we’d treat our enemy.
We say such horrible things in our head, that we’d be mortified if we actually verbalized it so that we can hear the words being said out of our mouths.

Why then, do we do it?

It’s because at some level, we believe the voices that have judged us and told us that we aren’t good enough.

We also tend to perpetuate the cycle.

There is only one real way to break this pattern.
Be kind to yourself.
When you feel you have failed.
When you feel unworthy.

Hold yourself in loving regard, and speak to yourself as you would a young child who have stumbled and scraped her knee.

It’s ok to fall down and be hurt.
Just get up and try again.
You aren’t a bad person.
You just stumbled.

Be kind to yourself.
For there is only one you. โค


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