“Growing up, I was the good girl—the responsible one, the one with perfect parent-teacher conferences, the one no one had to worry too much about.
And I think for so many of us, “good” was a compliment. It meant we were polite, agreeable, and easy to be around.
But it was also a command.
“Be a good girl and share.”
“Be a good girl and stop whining.”
“Be a good girl, and don’t make a fuss.”
What if “being a good girl” was just another way of saying: “Care more about what other people want from you than what you want for yourself.”
What if the real lesson was: “The way to be lovable is to get as far away as possible from what you actually want.”
If that’s what we were taught, it’s no wonder that, as adults, we struggle to name our own wants and needs.
We were never taught that it was okay to have our own desires—let alone put them first.
And the truth?
Getting our needs met almost always means inconveniencing other people.
No one ever told us that.
Instead, we learned to keep the peace.
To say yes when we meant no.
To swallow our needs so others stay comfortable.
And now, we carry those lessons into adulthood.
Into motherhood.
Into our careers.
We push ourselves to exhaustion, bending, stretching, breaking—until there’s nothing left for us.
And the world celebrates us for it.
So today, instead of admiring women for what we give, let’s celebrate what we take—
Time.
Space.
Rest.
The last bite.
The benefit of the doubt.
Here’s to being inconvenient.
And raising the next generation to feel at home in their power, too. “
I love listening to parenting psychologist Dr Becky, who’s written a book “Good Inside.”
Her latest email resonates very deeply and I wanted to share it with all my magnificent women friends.
Happy Inconvenient Women’s Day. ❤️
How are you being inconvenient today?
