“OMG! What a cow! How dare she talk to me like that! I know she’s the customer, but that was really out of line!”
He was really upset, and had excused himself from the call to message me.
Sometimes, it can be very easy to be triggered, especially if we feel personally attacked, and particularly more so if we are in a non-resilient state.
I know that I have a short fuse if I don’t get enough sleep, for example.
Or if I’ve just stepped on a lego piece 😫
Or if I find out that my favourite make-up have been used in an experiment to create mystery potions. 😑
When I am in that state – I generally broadcast my ‘non-resilient’ state to those I am interacting with, so that they know that I have a short fuse and the why behind it.
It reduces conflict when there is empathy.
If you’re on the receiving end of an unkind interaction, it may be difficult to _not_ be triggered when harsh words are used.
However, it helps to take a step back.
Stop that lizard brain from making impulsive statements and actions.
Extend that gap between event (harsh words being spoken to you) and reaction (giving in to the need to tell her what you really think – which may be detrimental to your next performance review 😖).
Take a break.
A few moments to practice box breathing can help to regulate the emotions.
Perhaps bring a calorie-laden peace offering. 🍩
Anything to break the tension and change the dynamics.
Adopt a posture of empathy.
Perhaps there are other reasons for the unkindness.
It really doesn’t matter if those reasons are true or not – the key thing is to acquire a perspective of the situation in a way that will best serve you.
I’ve found that it helps to reason with my emotions by visualising it as a Lizard that needs to be managed like a little child who’s having a meltdown.
It’s always a win situation when I’m able to calm her down. 😊
Then it’s donuts for all!
(Unless I’ve given them all away to defuse the situation!)
In which case, my muffin top feels grateful that we haven’t got any left 😁
