“I’m glad you brought this up.
“You’re a senior consultant and you’re expected to bill your 40 hours per week AND you’ve just been given two new graduates to mentor. It’s no wonder you feel stressed, frazzled and overwhelmed.
“Tell me more. You say you have some thoughts about how you’d like us to support you.
I just discovered Dr Becky Kennedy’s AVP strategy when dealing with high conflict situations, especially from a parenting point of view and how saw that it could be applied to other types of relationships as well.
I love it because it details in concrete terms what you might say to someone who is sharing their feelings with you and being vulnerable. ❤️
Acknowledge
“I am so glad you’re talking to me about this.”
“It sounds like the last few weeks have been tough for you.”
“It can’t be easy carrying all this on your shoulders and not have anyone to talk to.”
Validate
“It makes sense that you would react this way.”
“It is no wonder you feel the way you do, given how things have been for you the last few years.”
“It’s a very human reaction to feel like how you’re feeling.”
Permit
“Tell me more.”
“I’m listening.”
“Tell me how you’re coping. Or not.”
I see this as the first ‘S’ in SHUSH – #Samaritan‘s listening techniques:
🍩Show you care
🍩Have patience
🍩Use open questions
🍩Say it back
🍩Have courage
AVP shows that you care, and makes the other person feel safe enough to share their emotions in a deeper way. This is so valuable when exploring the human levels of our relationships with those around us.
I only recently discovered Dr Becky on The Knowledge Projet podcast, and it’s amazing to know that the parenting technique she talks about can be used to parent your inner voice to help you be a kinder person to yourself.
What do you think?
#OnThePeiroll
#Communication
