All new potential volunteers ask the same question.
ALL.
Being a listening volunteer for a crisis suicide phoneline such as Samaritans is a daunting endeavour. But my heart feels so full to see these trainees step up and put aside their discomfort to be there for other people.
I am training another cohort of new volunteers, and the emotional journey can be incredibly intense.
“What if we say the wrong thing and upset the caller?” 🙁
You can avoid that if you do these two things:
1️⃣Do not try to solve their problems
2️⃣Leave judgement out of your words, your voice and your tone.
I bet you didn’t know that “I hear what you’re saying” can also be quite judgemental?
It takes a lot of experience to know contextually when a phrase can be misconstrued as judgement, EVEN when the intent is not there.
“But how will we know?” one asked me gloomily.
Practice.
Practice practice practice.
Notice your own feelings.
When you hear what someone said.
When you read something.
If you feel upset, it’s likely because you feel judged in some way.
Reflect and analyse, because that’s the only way you’ll learn to read people and non-verbals.
And that’s why we make writing into self-reflection logs as a core part of our Samaritans training for new volunteers.
The ability to reflect and ask deep difficult questions of ourselves is a key indicator of growth and resilience. And it’s also why I chose to make it a central theme of my next book Salesforce Consulting 101.
We may not always be able to control the world around us, but we can definitely control how we interpret the situation, our thoughts and our behaviour.
We just need to practice.