All new potential volunteers ask the same question. ALL. Being a listening volunteer for a crisis suicide phoneline such as…
Thank you Chamara Somaratne for your thoughtful comment on my previous post about AI. This made me dig deeper into…
Imperfect, Flawed, Messy… and Absolutely Worthy! ❤️ Had a wonderful chat with Maria Rajpoot 🇵🇸 yesterday about leadership, motherhood and…
“Did you know when you asked that particular closed question, you stopped the caller from exploring important questions?” “When you…
For those who couldn’t attend the #ActiveListening session I ran for our #BadAssBA Virtual Trailblazer group earlier this month, the…
Captain’s log. Stardate 78197.4🤭 Yes you can check it out it that’s true. Yes I’m a trekkie. 🖖🏻 Yes I…
On my chat shift tonight with Samaritans and it’s always interesting. I think we get a different demographic who prefer…
It’s training day 1 for our fall cohort of new #Samaritans volunteers today. This is a fear that worry a…
“Why do you do email support?” a new Samaritans volunteer asked me yesterday. Providing emotional support on this communication medium…
At Samaritans we learn about non-directive language
At Samaritans we learn about non-directive language which makes no assumptions and instead holds a space for a deeper more…
“But what if I say the wrong thing?” The new #Samaritan volunteer asked worriedly. We are in week 3 of…
About to head off for my nightshift at Samaritans.We get a lot of calls at this time of the night. 🌘…
“It’s like speaking another language, and I don’t know if I am going to get it!” S said morosely. ☹…
“But I didn’t know what to saaaay!” he was in despair. 😞“You don’t have to say anything, you’re supposed to…
#SelfAwareness.Do you have it? 🤨How do you know you have it?How do you know it isn’t your bias or ego…
“Oh how awful! Actually I broke all 32 ribs when I fell off that horse!” 🤕“He left you? Well, my…
Which one wins?Nature🌱 or Nurture 🥕? In my non-certified-expert-opinion, I believe that nurture plays a strong part in shaping who…
Chris Voss FBI master negotiator calls it ‘Labelling’ – the verbal observations of feelings. When listening, we can use ‘reflecting’…
“Low and slow.” That’s the simple trick I use to de-escalate and defuse charged situations. It also stands me well…
Irrelevance. 😥With the rise of #AI, that’s a real fear facing many people. I talk about the human skill of #ActiveListening with Gillian Bruce at…
“What if you disagree with them? Or if you don’t like them or what they’re saying or thinking or doing?”…
I take a deep breath.I quiet the noise in my head. 🎧I push down the rising emotions. I open my…
𝗦𝘄𝗶𝗽𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗜 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝟭𝟬-𝟭𝟭 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗼𝗹𝗱𝘀 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴(Link to the google slides in the comment👇🏻)…
In a conversation, when I am ‘Me’ focused, I am:– crafting my reply to jump in to interrupt when you…
You’ll get over it.Don’t worry, you’ll be fine!Look on the bright side, at least you have your health.It could be…
“I used this way of working in my previous company and it worked, so it should work here too.” 🤨…
“You’re really good at what you do.” He chuckled quietly down the phone. “I guess I’ll go to bed. I’m…
When do I listen with my head 🧠?And when do I listen with my heart ❤? It depends. I listen…
“𝗜𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝗯.”Badly. Ask me how it actually does the job. “𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗼𝗸, 𝗜 𝗴𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘀.”I’m not too sure, but…
Listening is 𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦 the first step …To understandingTo getting closerTo connectingTo building better relationships. 🌹 That’s why it is important…
*Suicide Trigger alert*Deborah Harvey asked a beautiful question about what to do if you pass someone on a bridge who may…
“I’m fine.”“I love it.”“It’s nothing.”“No, it doesn’t hurt at all.” There are some whose thoughts, feelings and words align –…
“What? You mean I’m assigned to run the project on client site as soon as I finish my 1-week bootcamp? All…
Nervous. Excited. Worried. Keen. Terrified.Big feelings. The cohort of Samaritans volunteer were feeling a jumble of big emotions at their first training…
Ring Ring Ring“Hello Samaritans, can I help you?”*click* This is called a ‘snap’.It’s when our callers hang up as soon as…
I’m in Mexico with the family for holiday 🏖 and it’s been lovely. The weather, the people, the food!Amazing! 😍…
What’s your shape? 📐🟥⭕ Does it fit the role you’re going for?Does it fit the idea of what your spouse/significant…
The Job Description for a #CRM Consultant for #Salesforce should not include “Psychic.” One of the traits of a really good consultant is the…
Silence can be very powerful.Not just in negotiations but also in situations where emotions are high. When someone comes to…
Facts or feelings? When you’re in a heated argument, sometimes it pays to be more of a listener, and attempt…
When the night draws in, so does the darkness in our lives.Guilt, shame, regret, grief, loss, pain, loneliness, isolation. The…
You can’t solve a problem if you don’t open your mind, heart and your ears 👂🏻. I’ve observed that in…
What do you do when your team member has lost a child and you cannot ease their grief?Or when your…
#ActiveListening.An under rated skill. Many people feel the need to make the other person feel better with – sympathy“Oh poor…
But he seemed OK. So I didn’t think he needed any help.She didn’t cry or anything, so I assumed all…
I love questions.I discover so much about others, and so much about myself just by using great questions. It’s a…
There are times when we feel invisible.Isolated.Alone. No one would know if I disappear, you think.No one would know if…
“Why did you do that?”“How come you let that happen?” Judgemental accusation. “Why don’t you do this?”“Why don’t you think…
“What’s the point of listening if you don’t try to help?” “Getting into the hole? What for? Now you’re both…
Silence is under-rated.Nobody likes silence. But sometimes…Sometimes you need to leave a few heartbeats of silence, when someone is sharing…
Do you know the difference between sympathy and empathy? #Samaritans explain it using a metaphor of how one would interact with…
“I just got laid off.” “Yeah I got laid off last year. It sucked. But then I started a business…
Everyone has a hot button. Mine gets triggered when I take a call and the subject hits close to home,…
Why is a soft skill like #communication listed below hard skills like #Salesforce exam certification in a job description? While the basic expectation is…
There are a few things that a Project Manager loves to hear. “You’re so awesome” is something I hear a…
People are afraid to approach someone they think is struggling, because What if they’re wrong?What if they say the wrong…
“I really don’t think I can take it anymore.”Her shoulder slumps. Your heart starts beating very fast and you don’t…
Here’s a tip if you’re worried about what to say when talking to someone who is struggling. It doesn’t matter…
Human beings are social creatures.We aren’t meant to be alone. Being in a tight knit team, or a close family…
We really need to listen when someone’s telling us something. Sometimes, we may need to read between the lines to…
How can you listen to so much darkness and not let it taint your soul and spirit?As a listening volunteer…
His job was to break into homes to find the erotic toys and other sexual paraphernalia and get rid of…
What’s the number 1 skill for any #Salesforce or #Microsoft consultant? Designing great solutions?Solving problems?Competency in product knowledge? Luke Menzfeld from Cloud Galacticos talks about listening as…
Wouldn’t it be great if you were like Dr Strange and could test out different versions of the future? That…
Empathy vs Sympathy. It’s the difference between getting into the hole to be alongside someone, and standing outside the hole…
I got stabbed yesterday.By a super efficient nurse called Isla.With a vaccine to fight evil people-killing/maiming virus called Corona. Technology…
Users will always want what they want.Babies will always poop and eat and cry.Puppies will always want to play and…
When problem solving _IS_ a problem. 🤔 What? I hear you say. Many of us are wired to be problem…
“You’re worried that your mum will reject you because you’re gay? Maybe it’s a phase… go on a few ‘normal’…
“Why don’t you just quit your job?”“Let me talk to your teacher about your grades.”“You’re such a doormat. Just tell…
I almost never use “Are you OK?” on its own. Otherwise I get the standard reflex response of the English:“Yep,…
Ugh. It’s so noisy.Phones going.Office humdrum.The open plan can be so noisy.How do I focus on work? Wait.Is that Sandy…
As a Samaritan’s volunteer, I listen to people every week as they share the difficulties they are going through in…
As a Consulting Partner, asking insightful questions, and listening carefully, will help you understand requirements when it comes to building…
We watched #Soul yesterday – me and the ninjas. There’s a scene where Joe gets a lesson in active listening…
Most of the biggest challenges in struggling projects is issues around scope, requirements and change management. I think the biggest…
Do you want to know the 5 words that are the secret to really effective #communication and connection? No, you…
How do you handle explosive situations in a workshop when emotional outbursts have derailed the conversation? It can happen. I…
A team that has chemistry, where the group dynamics just works – is magic. It’s like conducting an orchestra, where…
Many of us walk around unconscious, without seeing, and without hearing. I asked my current batch of trainee Samaritan volunteers…
There’s no real substitute for practical real life experience. On my last consulting course – we were doing a session…
Critical thinking is a key skill for anyone. More so if you are a software consultant. The ability to: –…
“Does he really hate me, or is he just having a bad day? Or was he born a jerk??” Everyone…
Communication is _so_ important. It’s not just knowing the language. It’s the study of nuance and context. It’s the study…
“Things didn’t go as smoothly as you thought. But the team and I, we fixed it and made sure it…
“Why do you want to know what I do. Should I be worried about my job?” Resistance to change is…
In human relationships, there are 5 types of human responses. 1. Instructive – deciding what the other person needs, e.g.…
Circle of Influence. Manage what you _can_ control. Mitigate, accept, or avoid what you can’t. If at all possible. I…
Conflict occurs when expectations are not aligned. “What I think I am getting is not what you think you are…
Someone asked me why I was following people on Twitter that I disagree with, in the areas of ethics, morality,…
I pay attention to the small things. – the questions my lead consultant is asking – the subtle body language…