When problem-solvers aren’t what’s needed

“Why don’t you just quit your job?”
“Let me talk to your teacher about your grades.”
“You’re such a doormat. Just tell your sister in law to shut her gob.”

I know some people who are problem solvers.
They are great to have in crisis situation, say when the zombie apocalypse happens and you want to make sure your brains don’t get eaten.

This skill is critical in a real fight or flight situation like our ancestors faced with the sabre toothed raptor, but the modern life has created a stressful environment without the immediate mortal threat of being stomped or chomped by stunted armed T-rex.

Nowadays, this fight or flight response can be triggered by having to do public speaking, asking the boss for a raise or being in a toxic work or home environment, where the your mental and physical health may be at risk.

Sometimes, things are just far too complex for a quick fix.
And what’s really needed is an empathetic listener.

I think a lot of people don’t understand why a conversation ends up in frustration when all they were “trying to do is help”.

For a lot of people, practical help like steps to solve their problem is what they need. Perhaps that £500 for the rent or the monthly food bill, or to fix that car.

Other times, a listening ear may be exactly what’s needed.


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