People are afraid to approach someone they think is struggling, because
What if they’re wrong?
What if they say the wrong thing?
First of all, it doesn’t matter if you’re wrong.
“What? No, nothing’s wrong. The hay-fever just makes me look like I’ve bawled my eyes out.”
No, it really doesn’t matter if you’re wrong.
You just shrug, smile and move on.
Secondly, if you approach the situation in a non-judgemental manner, you’re unlikely to say the wrong thing.
Even if you do accidentally say the wrong thing which makes the person more upset, you apologise.
“I’m sorry that came out wrong. Let me try again. I’m just really concerned about you.”
Even after years as a listening volunteer, I can still say something that’s taken the wrong way by our callers.
But
By asking the question
By taking that first step
you open the door to a deeper conversation that would help someone feel safe enough to share their burden.
Don’t let the fear of asking the wrong question or saying the wrong thing stop you from reaching out.
“Hey, I noticed you’ve been a bit quiet/subdued/anxious/down/upset lately. I know we haven’t caught up recently but how are things?”
Start with that.
And remember, it doesn’t matter if you get it wrong the first time.
Practice makes progress.
You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to care. 🌹
#BeKind
#OnThePeiroll
#ActiveListening
