But I didn’t know what to saaaay!

“But I didn’t know what to saaaay!” he was in despair. 😞
“You don’t have to say anything, you’re supposed to be listening.” I replied gently.

I was doing role plays yesterday with ‘J’ a new trainee volunteer for #Samaritans (a UK charity that supports callers who are emotionally distressed and feeling suicidal) and he was frustrated that the conversation didnt seem to flow.

Most people are focused on what they need/want to say next, to try and make the other person feel better, perhaps by solving their problems.

Instead, they should focus on the other person and what they are saying. ❤

“Walk alongside the caller. Be genuinely curious about what’s going on with them, what they’re feeling and how they are experiencing their world. Questions will come from there.”

Many people are ‘me-focused’.
What can I say next to the caller to show that
– I understand
– I know what you’re going through
– I know what to do next
– I can help fix your problems

Most of the time, it’s a bit of ego that’s stopping us from listening.

Sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing.
When that happens, I take a pause.
I step back from my Ego.
And I refocus 100% my attention on my caller.

That’s what it takes to be an Active Listener.
The world needs more of us.❤

#OnThePeiroll
#ActiveListening