Yesterday I wrote about proofreading documents and reviewing for mistakes and rushed to hit [submit] as kids were squabbling (yes – I am blaming them for the mistake that led to this post today😁)
Luckily James Gorton identified an issue and wrote me a DM. With his permission, I’d like to share an example of outstanding coaching and feedback.
1. He sent me a direct message, allowing me the grace of finding out my mistake in private. Class.
2. He started with the world “Respectfully.” This is a strange one – and I’ve found that in England, this could be taken in a sarcastic tone. An example – when someone says, “With all due respect.” they generally mean “You’re so wrong, you couldn’t be wrong-er than you are now.” 😬
However, the way he’s phrased it led me to feel that he knew his feedback may potentially upset me, and the tone made me sit up and take notice.
3. He said “it just doesn’t read right” (he’s absolutely right there – that sentence read really wrong, and I’ve since corrected it.) He also mentions that he is dyslexic and that he might be wrong.
This is a wonderfully disarming way of saying, “Maybe it’s me, and not you.” (But it was totally me!)
4. FInally he closed with how he thought it was worth messaging and bringing it to my attention so that I could fix it before insecure trolls think it fun to show me up and point out my mistake in public. ⚔
I am deeply grateful for his kindness and generosity in taking the time to write me and help make me better. That is the essence of how feedback, when delivered with sincere intention of providing improvement (and not an ego-driven take down) is supposed to be*.
This also provided me an opportunity to clarify that my intention of proofreading my team’s deliverables is to check for logical and content ‘correctness’, as well as clarity of language (rather than grammar – although that has to be correct as well).
Being a non-native English speaker means that I sometimes have an odd way of phrasing my sentences due to my cultural background, and I appreciate it when someone points out ways I can improve.
So thank you again James, for inspiring this post.
I hope that it showcases a great way of providing a respectful and sincere feedback to someone on LinkedIn.
* see my previous post on my podcast interview with Kevin Boyle at Gearset where he talked about feedback culture.
