Discussion in my comments have made me think a bit more about the definition of personal “Standards.”
It is the minimum expectation of the quality of the various facets of your life and is made up of “I have to…” statements. They come in two flavours:
Be the hardest working girl in my family.
Work out every morning.
Eat healthy balance at every meal, and not snack.
Be friends with fun people who like to party
Mix with ambitious colleagues
Not be around people who are poor
Lose 25 kg.
Get top marks in every exam.
Secure a high paying job.
Date beautiful models.
Marry a man with a yacht and condominium.
I think that attitude based standards are easier targets to achieve.
Failure to achieve outcome-based standards (which may be due to events outside your control) tend to be more difficult to accept, and could lead to harmful self-criticism.
I used to think that I’d be happy if I could reach my pre-wedding weight however since then, I’ve carried my twin ninjas, and a subsequent ninja-lette making it feel like an impossible goal.
As a result, I’ve yo-yo’d between different diets and exercise regimes.
I then changed my personal standards to workout and exercise well, and to eat sensibly – with allowances for indulgent dessert.
You know what? I haven’t hit my target, but feel stronger and fitter, and I can enjoy the lovely sweets without guilt.
I don’t think I’ve lowered my standards at all.
I haven’t compromised my happiness.