“If you loved me, you’d know why I washed your white shirts with the red bathmat.”

“If you loved me, you’d know why I washed your white shirts with the red bathmat.” 😨

People aren’t psychic, and you should communicate abilities, capabilities and boundaries clearly.

I frequently help friends and family review and improve their CV.
One of the things I advice is to try not to exaggerate or conflate your abilities and also to not hide perceived weaknesses.

It would not be good to set expectations that is too high (leading you to get the job, but could land you into hot soup) or so low that you don’t get a second look.

I always try to strike for a balance, although I still lean very much towards being as clear as I can.
In the context of CV and job hunting, I am clear about my strengths as well as my gaps, which if its important to the role – I will find a way to strengthen that weakness, or I might decide that the job isn’t a great fit for me.

I truly believe that mismatch of expectations are the root of all arguments and disputes, although being candid and truthful in all situations may not be appropriate, especially in different cultures.

Be honest and genuine.
Be clear in your communication and don’t make assumptions.

Otherwise I’ll wash mix your coloured and whites, and you’ll have to figure out why. 😆



Hi, I’ve been talking about expectations and the clarity around setting expectations between different parties and I feel that it’s kind of like a spectrum.

At this end, you might have a situation between people were expectations are unspoken.

For example of a couple who might be in conflict. And one might say, “Well, what what do you what do you talk to me that way?” And they would say,

“You should know. We’re married or not? If you love me, you should know why, why I’m feeling this way, especially after what you did this morning.”

“What did I do this morning?”

“Well, you ought to know you ought to know, on you ought to apologize for it.”

I have heard so many situations that are very similar. And in my head, I’m just thinking, Oh, you know, if you can only just talk openly to each other.

So you have that spectrum, end of the spectrum. And then you have the other end, where a project manager or a team leader might say to you, “I want you to write this document, the solution document. It needs to be 112 pages long, it needs to be font arial size 12. You need to make sure you put to double space after every full stop. It needs to have 13 sections of which each section should have the Overview, The Pros and Cons. At the end, I want your recommendation, which should be two and a half pages long. And it needs to be delivered to me by 2:32pm. This afternoon, by donkey mail.”

So you have that end of spectrum words, micromanaging.

So where do we where should we strive to aim for my personal style leans towards this side, maybe not quite that in. But I like to be clear.

Let’s give you an example of a more real life project example.

I’ve been given someone to augment my team, let’s say it’s a mid level functional consultant for Salesforce, or Microsoft, it doesn’t matter.

For mid level, I might look at the job description, or I should already know that this person should be able to do run workshops, manager room, gather requirements, and document them in a very specific way.

Now, if that person had got that job, by conflating his CV, for example, that’s going to cause an issue because I know I have an expectation that’s kind of over here, that person may not actually be able to achieve that.

So that’s going to be a problem. And what I normally do with my team when I am given one, and if there are people who haven’t worked with me before, and who don’t really know my style, I will actually spend some time, sit down each person and say, “This is who I am, this is what I expect of the project in of you. And this is what you can expect from me. I’m very open. And so I would like you to be open as well and take advantage of that and share with me all your concerns. Now even situation arise whereby you feel you are not capable, for whatever reason, I would like you to share it with me right now, because then I can help manage that. Managing it right now is much less painful, than anywhere else down the line.”

So is going back to that example. If I were then to put this mid level consultant in a room with the client, and it goes bad, it goes really bad for the company, for myself for the project team. And also for the person who has perhaps decided to exaggerate his CV, not realizing the implications of that particular action.

By sitting down with each person and laying down my cards on the table, I’m able to open the door and say, “If there’s anything else that I kind of need to know. Please tell me now.”

That allows me to navigate relationships a lot better and I’ll allows a project to go a lot smoother, because that means I have foresight of what situations may occur. It might be I need to help support this particular individual for whatever reason, it might be the other way around as well, whereby we, the demands of the project mean that a junior person may have to step into a senior role and be totally out of their comfort zone. And that’s okay to mention it to your project manager. Because for me, that means that I’d find a way to support you.

For my situation, because I’ve done the roles before, I can provide that support. I can shore up the knowledge and helping to manage room and to run workshops. But sometimes if the project manager doesn’t have that experience, but they’re open to support you, then they might find a way to have someone else on hand so that you’re not sinking. What we want is projects that are fun, and there’s open and the cohesion between the team is a really strong one, because that makes a huge amount of difference whether you enjoyed the project or not.

With that tip on managing expectations on a different spectrum. I hope you found it useful. And I wish you a really good rest of the day. Thank you

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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