When I perceive that someone is attacking me or my work, the first thing I do is reach inside me and pull out my ball of Ego.
I observe the reaction of my Ego ball towards this perceived attack and threats.
“No, you’re wrong. This is what I mean, and this is why I am right.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying. I have more experience than you, and I know what I am talking about.”
It’s a very insightful exercise I have been doing for awhile now.
In the past, when receiving negative feedback – sometimes constructive, sometimes not, I would feel highly defensive and blood would rush into my head and cloud my thinking with emotional explosions.
Maturity has taught me to suppress the reactionary nature and to listen, evaluate, and then absorb or discard that feedback as I see fit.
My latest technique of actually disassociating myself from my Ego, and observing the reactions without judgement, allows me to be even better at understanding my unconscious triggers and the layers of complexity that drives my behaviour.
It’s very interesting to watch, and sometimes, quite entertaining too.
I hadn’t realised I could be such an obtuse donkey when holding onto my righteous corner.
This is how I grow, learn and adapt.
My Ego is so funny, but she’s not always right.
I think I become a better human when I excise this little nutter from life.
For now though, she’s providing me an incredible learning experience.
One that I should pay attention to.