Poorly managed expectation.
That’s the root cause of most conflicts.
Throw in years of dysfunctional programming, and you’ve got a hotbed of simmering tension just waiting to boil over during family get-togethers.
If only everyone would have a Meta discussion about the things they plan to talk about. I.e. Talk about what they are going to talk about.
“Right, I’m going to snidely comment on how Robert butchers the turkey because as the second child, I’ve never been able to compare with him.”
“I am now going to be sarcastic about your parenting skills because you’ve chosen to let your kids be degenerates because they’re using their fingers for the chicken leg.”
“I’ve always disapproved of your choice of romantic partner and will passively aggressively flap my hands in front of my face whenever I am around her. She’s a hussy for wearing perfume!😱”
Much like in Ricky Gervais’ movie “The Invention of Lying.” perhaps it would only work if everyone expects such candour… Otherwise, I expect there will be many bloody noses and much violence 😬
There’s a balance between managing expectations and being inappropriate.
Be honest about your boundaries and expectations, but also, be kind.
If you’re lucky enough to be celebrating with family this year, I’d like to wish you a fun, healthy, safe and enjoyable holiday.
Happy Holidays! 🎄❤️